Now, listen up, girls. That chick — or woman, but I like the word chick so sue me — that woman right there is hotter than a $2 pistol.

I see you skinny chicks sneer, but you’re way off base. That chick up there is visually more appealing than a runway model. And, I like to own my playtoy sometimes, if you catch my Fifty Shades of Forgy reference. Trust me, Christian pales in comparison. When you slam into a skinny girl, odds are it’s gonna hurt. But sometimes I gotta slam, ya know? She rides like a Cadillac.

Look at her lips. Big, soft shiny wet (hold on, gotta move my laptop) pretty lips.


And look at those eyes….

Last thought: Trust me, Christian pales in comparison to Fifty Shades of Forgy.