Category: Blog (page 1 of 4)

Throwback Thursday 2017.07.13

July 2006, on US-69 near Eufaula Lake in Oklahoma. Taken from the front seat of a 1997 International Eagle. I saw the train coming, held the camera up with one hand, and clicked the shutter without looking. #ThrowbackThursday #tbt

The truck I was driving that day later became Bobbie Jo, one of two trucks I owned. The second truck was named Billie Jo. Both trucks were named after the daughters on Petticoat Junction.  Both trucks were farm girls. They worked hard, didn’t mind getting dirty, and they cleaned up real nice when they got a bath.  Lots o’ curves, you bet, even more when you get to the junction And here’s some cool trivia:

“The idea for Petticoat Junction came from Paul Henning’s wife. She used to tell him stories of her childhood when she was visiting her family’s hotel in Eldon, Missouri. The stories she used to tell Paul about her adventures at the Burris Hotel became the basis of the show.”

Also, the dog on Petticoat Junction, which never had a name on the show – they always called it “the dog” – later became famous as Benji. His real name was Higgins, and he and Uncle Joe were real-life buddies.

Merry Christmas From The Forgy’s

The Forgy’s did our Christmas shindig on New Year’s Eve at Forgy Funny Farm, my brother Kirk’s place buried deep on top of a mountain in Mid-Missouri. I know you think I’m crazy but my bro is way worse. He told me once that he admires the way I do my own career thing. If I get sick of a company or even an entire field I’ll give it the boot to the head. But that proves how crazy he really is.

Kirk works at the only maximum security psychiatric facility in the state of Missouri. Inside those walls is the most dangerous place in the state of Missouri. Read that again until it sinks in. He goes there daily on purpose. A maximum security prison for crazy people who are even more dangerous than your average garden variety violent criminal. Just the thought of walking through that gate and being inside all that razor wire and evil is too weird for me.

Kirk also calls his place Copperhead Ridge Funny Farm since all they seem to grow is copperhead snakes. I once told him when they legalize recreational marijuana in Missouri I’ll have every inch of his five acres plowed up before he gets home from work that day. He told me he didn’t have a tractor big enough to get it done before supper time. I said his neighbors do. He grinned and said “Don’t hit the snakes or the neighbors.”

I rode to the Forgy Funny Farm with my #2 boy Z and his girlfriend. When we were walking up to the door, she said she could take a nap. I said “I wouldn’t take a nap in there. I don’t trust any of these fuckers.” She didn’t laugh because she thinks I’m kidding, and she knows Z is a little crazy.  But Z laughed because he knew I wasn’t kidding. Most of us Forgy’s sleep with one eye open, but Z often slept with both of his eyes open. It creeped out both of my ex wives, even his own mother sometimes, but nobody can sneak up on him, either. That’s a handy skill to have in this family. You can avoid a whole world of doom and gloom by keeping your eyeball on the other Forgy because we absolutely love terrorizing each other on some level or another.

We walked in the door of the Forgy Funny Farm and my favorite oldest granddaughter J was coming down the stairs. She’s as crazy as the rest of us but it’s not all her fault. Her dad is my #1 oldest son D, and her mom is every bit as crazy as Z’s girlfriend. I warned both girls that they were falling in love with grown men who bumped their heads way more than FDA standards allow and they still didn’t run.

So J comes stomping down the stairs, sees me standing just inside the door grinning at her, and she called me by a nickname that would make Norman Rockwell want to paint her portrait. I wait for this every time I see her because even though it might horrify some grandparents, to me, it’s a term of endearment. And when J’s eight year old innocence greets me with these two words, it makes my heart melt.

“Hey, butthead!”

The chase was on! I run faster than the average Forgy. I had to run from Kirk more than once, and J had a big head start. I caught up with her before she topped the stairs and chased her to the Ping-Pong table where her sister H grinned back. The girls and I got caught up with what was new, and I said I was going downstairs to talk to everyone else. I told J to give me a hug, and she did, a big neck-crusher. Then a Christmas Miracle happened. I told H, who’s never given me a hug since she was too tiny to fight back, “Come here and gimme a hug!”  H almost flew across the Ping-Pong table, and I got my second neck-crusher hug of the day. That one meant a lot. I’ve tried to hug on that kid for years, but this time she wanted it to happen.

True story!

When we did our gift exchange someone handed me a bag that didn’t say who it was from. I reached in and pulled out the shirt you see right there. I read “show me your tits and I’ll open your beer” and laughed, and then D pointed at the bottom of the shirt. There’s a bottle opener sewn into the hem of the shirt. Perfect!

I looked around the room but nobody was grinning back at me until I turned to D’s wife M. She had a big grin on her face and asked me if I liked it. I told her I loved it, and she said “Good, your granddaughter picked it out.” My mouth dropped open and I turned to look at J, who was sitting on the floor in front of us. I said “You picked this out?”

“Yup!”

I turned to M and she said “J can read.”

I was speechless. My eight year old granddaughter picked out a shirt that says it all, and she knew what she was doing! No wonder my grandparents were horrified how quickly we grew up.

 

If you think I’m not serious when I say Kirk is crazier than I, take a look at this news clip video. By the 37 second mark you’ll be convinced.

Merry Christmas!  Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Throwback Thursday 2016.12.29

Clint, the Human Fountain. 1975, maybe. My eyes are up to the left.  #ThrowbackThursday #tbt

My sis named this photo “Clint, the human fountain” when she scanned Mom’s old photo albums. Now you know why we both need therapy.

Best Review Ever (So Far)

A great review of Mirth Defects by Carole P. Roman.

Mirth Defects by Clint Forgy is one of those books that reminds me of Forrest Gump’s famous box of chocolates: “You never know what you’re gonna get.”

Hysterically rich and with a vivid voice, Forgy writes a story of JD Ferguson, a young boy growing up in middle America in the early 70’s, born in a small town in Iowa.
Forgy begins his novel with JD’s birth. He arrives with the clarity and sarcastic wit of an old soul, entering this world as if he’s ready for action, and indeed he is. This is the story of JD’s life and how his world evolves; the highs and lows, the rites of passage that bring him to manhood.

This is no boring accounting. It’s fun, lush and complex, laced with humor, and filled with soft memories of riding bikes up and down a street in the hazy twilight. JD has it all. The agony of a boy’s kindergarten crush, first kisses and the tender passion of young love. The story is rich, as real life as it can get, astoundingly insightful and side-splittingly funny.

Forgy is a brilliant author with the rare skill of growing JD’s voice from boy to man. His delightful sense of humor and flair for dangerous pranks left me breathlessly reading, wondering how JD and his cohorts would escape unscathed. The cast of characters includes JD’s younger brother Bob, his best friend Gasser, and the lovely Lana.

Roadapple Ridge is a town possessed of fodder, ripe for Forgy’s pen. JD and his cohorts leap from scrape to scrape, with JD’s sharp mind constantly outsmarting the locals. At times, it reads like those old Keystone Cops silent movies. The only sounds were my own chuckles. It’s a special book that makes you laugh, even better when it makes your eyes sting, and Mirth Defects has the distinct honor of doing both.

Forgy is a wonderful writer, stepping forward to give a voice to the twilight of the twentieth  century. Dinner was eaten with your parents, you rode your bike until the stars were out, and you went steady instead of hooking up. Despite his rough and tumble ways, JD has a sweetness. While he may court trouble, he knows when to do the right thing. Better than that, he knows when to say it. He tells his girlfriend, “If you think you’re ten foot tall then you are,” letting us know he has become a man. When his grandfather dies unexpectedly, JD says, “I’m trying to hear him breathe one more time.” That line undid me, voicing true grief in a way that says it all.

Near the end, JD laments,”You can’t always get what you want but sometimes you get what you need.” Mirth Defects manages to do both, giving the reader everything they want as well as what they need.

Impressed? Me too! I’m glowing like I’m pregnant and I’m almost sure I’m not.

Stop by and check out Carole’s site and get your favorite kiddos something for Christmas. Baby, it’s cold outside. May as well curl up with a great book or three.

If you hurry you can get Mirth Defects free when you join the VIP Readers Club. Or, spend money at your favorite book retailer this December. See if I care!

Stay tuned, and thanks for reading!

Sneak peak of Mirth Defects

 

Cover Reveal For “Mirth Defects”

I’m very pleased to announce the new cover for Mirth Defects, my debut novel. Katie at KatieCody.com, amazed me by how well she nailed it in so many ways.

A newborn boy begins the search for his soul mate.

From the day he was born, JD Ferguson knew what was missing: his soul mate. Mirth Defects, the prequel to The Seduction of Granny, is a fiction novel about the early years of JD Ferguson, his brother Bob, their buddies Gasser Jameson and Tiny Steele, and the adventures they experience growing up in the fictional town of Roadapple Ridge, Iowa.

I can’t say enough great things about this cover. I sent Katie a copy of Mirth Defects, and told her I wasn’t sure what the concept should be. I basically said “I have no idea,” and asked her to show me what the story was about.

One, our beloved hero JD Ferguson falls in love with the nurse who wrapped him in a blanket the minute he was born. Two, he falls in love (see the guy falling?) many times over the years. Three, Mirth Defects is a coming-of-age story. In a metaphorical sense, JD gives up his teddy in exchange for a chance to meet his soul mate.

Bam! There is no way I could have come up with a better cover on my own.

Thanks, Katie!

Where There’s A Will: Inspector Stone Book One

I have a friend from the UK, Alex Carver, who’s recently released a book called Where There’s A Will: Inspector Stone Book One that I know you would enjoy. I’ve read the beginning using Amazon’s “Look Inside” feature. It’s very compelling, and the book cover mesmerizes me. I have over 100 books in my personal “wanna read it” list, and this one’s in the #1 slot. That’s no small feat considering there’s a Stephen King novel on my list.

Alex can explain the synopsis better than I can:

An armed robbery, a kidnapping, and an enemy that’s closer than anyone realises.

Inspector Stone has to put aside problems at home and an ambitious underling when the daughter of a local businessman is kidnapped, and a multi-million Euro ransom demanded for her return.
Can he find her and return her safely to her parents when the kidnappers are dangerously close to home?

About the book
This is the first in my Inspector Stone series, which is set, for the most part, in the fictional small English town of Branton, I have six books queued up in the series, to be released over the next few years, with more ideas to be written; the character of Inspector Stone was inspired by David Jason’s Inspector Frost, and by the variety of other British detectives I have read and seen on TV.

About the Author
Alex Carver has worked in the clerical, warehouse and retail industries over the years, without gaining much satisfaction, and has now quit to follow his dream and become a full-time writer. The Inspector Stone series already has 1 title released with book 2, An Eye For An Eye due out in 2017 and 4 others in various stages of being written. Alex is always working on Written In Blood, a thriller about a serial killer, which is due out in early 2017.

One review on Amazon says “Meticulously detailed and realistic, Where There’s a Will, is a terrific crime drama. Nate Stone is a dedicated inspector assigned to investigate a robbery at a festival. Could the the fleeing robbers be guilty of a hit and run, as well?” Those two lines convinced me even more.

Alex, like me, is an Independent Author. That means he’s written, marketed, and published his novel with little or no outside help, independent of the giant publishing conglomerates. That’s a tough row to hoe, but the best fiction novels in the universe are being written by Alex and writers like him. Take a chance and a peek at Where There’s A Will: Inspector Stone Book One. You’ll be glad you did.

Happy Birthday, Bro!

Happy birthday to my brother Kirk! This photo was taken on the day he turned Terrible Two. You can see why we turned out borderline pyromaniacs. Disclaimer: it’s merely coincidence he was born on Pearl Harbor day. #HappyBirthday

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It’s Snowing!

It’s snowing! First snow of the season, and I can’t help but feel like a little kid at heart.

First snow of the season, 12/04/2016

First snow of the season, 12/04/2016

Book Cover Concepts

Click on the thumbnails to view the full size cover.

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Throwback Thursday 2016.12.01

My dad Roy and my oldest son Derik. Derik could literally talk Dad into anything, and he wanted a motorcycle ride that day. #ThrowbackThursday #tbt

derik-and-roy-on-motorcycle

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